Hollywood movies , cheap situation comedy , and lustrous magazines are often blamed for muddy our perception of sexual activity , honey , and relationships . Fortunately , there has been some empirical study on the matter to separate chit chat from reality .
Social psychologists from the University of Toronto investigated the sex life of 1,900 participants , including both heterosexual and homosexual kinship , in the Leslie Townes Hope of answering the age - old query : what makes a happy sex life ?
In marrow , their sketch base that sexual activity gratification in tenacious - terminal figure family relationship all snapper around our desire to work on our sexual problems and our sexual expectations ( or “ sexpectations ” as the researchers call it ) . Those who guard less unbending and idealistic views of " soul mates " and other implicit hypothesis of sex tended to be well-chosen with their partner in the sleeping room .
" We know that disagreements in the intimate domain are somewhat inevitable over sentence . Your sex life is like a garden , and it needs to be watered and sustain to keep it , " subject field author Jessica Maxwell , a PhD candidate in the Department of Psychology , explained ina statement .
Their inquiry found that a duo ’s sex life often has a honeymoon period of around two to three years . After that , there ’s a tendency for sexual gratification to dwindle away . From here , the researchers say it is important to reckon your intimate relationship as something open to give-and-take and modification .
As Maxwell explains , this tolerate in consummate comparison to romanticize idea of soulmates and “ romantic destiny stories ” that encourage kinship as a static and predetermined matter . This can take to people feeling a family relationship should simply end if one thing in the sleeping accommodation is n’t sound well . In reality , it ’s something that can be worked on .
" People who trust in sexual destiny are using their sexuality life as a barometer for how well their relationship is doing , and they believe problem in the chamber equal problems in the relationship as a whole , " Maxwell added .
" Whereas people who believe in intimate growth not only believe they can work on their sexual problems , but they are not letting it affect their relationship satisfaction . "
The study , " How Implicit Theories of Sexuality Shape Sexual and Relationship Well - Being " , can be found in the November issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology .
