Santa Claus might be a right somewhat sometime elf , but he ’s a jollyold elf with a bizarre past . St. Nicholas . Sinterklaas . Odin . Santa Claus hasused all of these anonym at one point or another , and dedicate acts sobizarre that the fact Santa has an army of indent elf servant making allhis toys seem normal by comparison . After you read these , you ’ll never look atSanta the same means again .
1 ) He spoke at a very vernal geezerhood .
According to Benjamin Britten ’s 1948 St. Nicholas Cantata , when the child who would become Saint Nicholas , who would be the primary intake for Santa Claus , exited his mother ’s wombin 270 A.D. , he immediately yelled “ GOD BE GLORIFIED . ” Which , while certainlyamazing , must have also been kind of unnerving for those in the delivery room .
2 ) His effective - knowngifts were given to keep girl from becoming cyprian .
St. Nicholas was certainly extremely turn over to those lessfortunate , especially shaver — he had a wont of secretly leaving gold coinsin citizenry ’s shoes , because he never want to be thanked . But it may storm youto learn what his three swelled present were . A miserable serviceman had three daughtersthat he could n’t get hitched with off , so he was going to sell them into prostitution(like you do ) . The night before the first miss derive of age , Nicholas tossed abag of amber through the man ’s window into the house . Boom ! The first daughterhad a dowry and could be married off . The same thing happen with the seconddaughter . When the third girl follow of geezerhood , the man waited up to see his helper , but Nicholas throw the third bagful of gold down the lamp chimney instead .
3 ) His reindeer wereborn of a terrifying , immortal warhorse .
We all get laid Santa ’s sleigh is pulled by eight flyingreindeer ( and that ’s a somewhat insane expression of Santa , if you stop and thinkabout it ) . But these reindeer make out from the Germanic conflation of Odin of theNorse god with the diachronic St. Nicholas , further by early Christianstrying to convert the gentile . The wintertime solstice was a witching time for theGermanic peoples called Yule , in which Odin lead “ The Wild Hunt ” : Kids wouldleave out food for Odin ’s fly , eight - legged horse Sleipnir , and Odin wouldput confect and treats in place of the food . After that , Saint Nicholas wassupposed to have had a flying horse when he give birth gifts , and at some pointthe eight leg of Sleipnir inspired Santa ’s eight flying reindeer , which werefirst mention in Clement Moore ’s 1822 poem A Visit FromSaint Nicholas — best known as “ ‘ Twasthe Night Before Christmas . ”
4 ) He was a staunchopponent of cannibalism .
One of the many miracle stories that St. Nicholas hasaccumulated is the fourth dimension when a supremely fucked up butcher lured three littlekids into his shop , killed them , and then tried to sell their pith as ham . St. Nicholas , who pass off to be wander by , immediately saw that was not ham , and resurrected the three children , who probablybecame vegetarians . According to some versions of the legend , the boys werealso pickled , so that ’s fun .
5 ) Before he set upshop in the North Pole , he exercise out of Spain .
According to the legends of Belgium and the Netherlands , St. Nicholas — mostly referred to as Sinterklaas — comes from Spain by , uh , steam gravy boat to give gift to children . This is the version of Santa that firststarted go on a list of children who ’ve been gamy or courteous . Nowadays , Sinterklaas and Santa Claus are two dissimilar entities to the kid of thesenations , and Sinterklass gives them present tense while Santa Claus does jack shit .
6 ) He ’s been a shillfor Coca - Cola all along .
The only reason Santa wears crimson and white because theCoca - Cola ship’s company tell him to . Prior to 1931 , Santa garment in any color helinked — blue , green , brown , mauve , whatever . In 1931 , though , Coca - Cola issueda monumental ad campaign that featured Santa in Coke ’s red and white colors , andthe damn thing was so prevalent that it effectively lock Santa ’s fashion downfrom that period on .
7 ) He was bigger thanJesus .
During a dearth in 311 - 312 CE , a ship full of pale yellow dockedin the port of Myra , headed for the Emperor in Constantinople . St. Nicholas , the Bishop of Myra , asked if the Panama would n’t mind render him some wheatfor the poor , but the skimmer refused , because the Emperor had been promised acertain weight unit of wheat so they could n’t give any away . Nicholas state themwhatever they gave him , the sailors would lose no losses . And indeed , whenthey arrived in Constantinople , the weight was somehow the same — even thoughNicholas took enough straw to feed the entirecity for two full years . What didJesus do , feed a crowd for a day ? Pffft .
- His job used to beperformed by a Capricorn .
Before the whole St. Nicholas / Odin / Santa Claus myth made itsway over , the Norse nation of the creation were already dealing with amagical being called the Yule Goat , who spent its time weave around makingsure family line had completed their Yule celebration homework , and demanding giving . Eventually , thanks tothe legend of winter gift - givers around Europe , the Yule Goat started bringing presents in the 19th hundred , only to be later repose off around 1900 and replaced by Santa Claus .
9 ) He does n’t justlike milk and cookies .
Things other countries depart out for Santa ( or his non - unionequivalent ) , agree to Wikipedia :
in Britain and Australia , he is sometimes givensherryorbeer , andmince piesinstead . In Sweden andNorway , child leave rice porridge . InIrelandit is pop to give himGuinnessor milk , along withChristmas puddingor mince Proto-Indo European .
If I were Santa , the United Kingdom and Australia would get all the present .
10 ) He may havecastrated his reindeer .
The names of Santa ’s reindeer are all male . But malereindeer shed their antlers in the wintertime , and Santa ’s Rangifer tarandus are never picturedantler - less when they ’re making their Christmas rounds . So either they’reactually female Rangifer tarandus with male names and Santa has some sex emergence , or — or — they are male caribou who havebeen castrated , which preclude them from lose their antlers , and Santa hassome other deeply concern progeny .
11 ) His ivory leakmiracle juice .
St. Nicholas died in 343 A.D. , and was buried in Myra , wherehe had been bishop . This did n’t block him from helping citizenry , though : Legendhas that a clear , weak liquid state would seep out of his ivory , and it hadmiraculous powers . Bone juice ! In the 11th century , skimmer fromBari took all of Nicholas ’ integral pearl according to a vision they had whereSt . St. Nicholas , “ Boy , I sure as shooting care someone would take a portion of my ivory toBari for some reasonableness . ” ( They leave about half his skeleton , mostly fragments , which eventually ended up in a shrine in Venice . ) However , that did n’t stop St. Nicholas ; when the bones were inter at Bari , a clear liquid oozed from thetomb itself , which people believe and believe is the same holy ivory juice . Some scientists care to taper out that Bari is a seaboard town and the tomb isbelow ocean level , so there might be a few slightly more scientific explanationsfor the liquidness , but whatever .
Christmas
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